Looking At Women

Looking at women by Scott Russell Sanders is an article in which Sanders talks about how the world influences his perception of women. For this conversation he has many perspectives. The first is from his friend Norman who refers to girl by saying, "check out that chassis." This confuses him since has never heard the word chassis used in that context. Norman’s mom know right away what Norman is talking about but Sanders isn't as quick. Another person to have an effect on view of how women should be looked upon is his college roommate. He was on the opposite side of the spectrum as Sanders thought that his Playboy centerfold’s put him in a gutter. Sander’s first thought upon seeing the pictures was that it reminded him of a meat locker. Sanders would imagine the lives that these women lived and not what they were doing. Norman’s mother also had a big impact on his view of women. See would always say "How do you think she feels?" This question would stick with Sanders for the rest of his life. Another group that affected him growing up was his neighbors. They owned a store called bare essentials. They sold lingerie or "intimate apparel" at their store. This confuses him because it seems to him to provide no real purpose but to dehumanize the wearer. It puzzles him why anyone would dehumanize them self. Sanders questions why women make themselves out to objects like the world portraits and states that “to reduce another person to an object is the primal wrong.”

The Overly Documented Life

In The Overly Documented Life the author A.J. Jacobs sets out on a self-exploration trip by buying a Looxcie camera to document his life by filming all day every day. The idea of Lifeblogging scared the author at the start but he started to like it as the article went on. Being able to look back and solve every argument or find anything lost seems like it would be great. But the author soon found out that the proof doesn’t always make the situation better. Watching the recorded argument with his wife seems like it would help to solve the fight but in the end makes it worse. His sons doesn’t even bother listening to the argument that his father had saved. After being somewhat on the fence of lifeblogging the author soon invest in more apps and gadgets just to track what he is doing. He almost becomes obsessed with tracking his life the going back and watching it all over. This seems ridiculous to me. We only get one shot at life why waste all this time and money on lifeblogging. I don’t always want to be recording my conversations or activates. After this experiment done by the author he seems to almost have become a robot trying to maximize his efficiency at life. I can’t see the fun in that. We are humans not machines. We are supposed to make mistakes and not always be productive. I think lifeblogging could go too far and end up taking over lives of people downloading recordings and spending money on all the products.

Derek Tomenchok's Review

Peer Review; SLA Argument

Author’s Name: Derek Tomenchok                                                        Peer Review’s Name: Aj Joslin

What is the main point, the argument? [List page # and paragraph—and then write it in your own words]

For the work of  Shelby Lee Adams

How does the argument refute potential detractors? [Please list anything the author may have missed that they need to address]

By talking about Adam’s Background of growing up in Kentucky with these people.

Introduction: Describe in your own words what the intro does, then if its effective.  Why/Why Not?  [Please be as specific as possible]

The intro works well since it discusses both sides of the argument.

Paragraph Concerns:  if there are any paragraphs with more than one main point, address whether they should be split into separate paragraphs, or if one point seems unnecessary and can be deleted.  Are there any paragraphs doing the same thing and can be combined? This is a good place to discuss overall structure, the logical series of points being made.  If the paragraph sequence could be altered for greater effectiveness, please note.

The paragraphs work well. They talk about the main ideas nicely.

Evidence:  Is each main point backed with evidence?  Has the author thoroughly explained the implications of the point being made?  Offer advice on how to back up the point (photo treatment, quotes, logic).

Yes, the author uses the documentary and the home funeral well. I’d like to see one more source to diversify the opinions in the paper.

Transitions: Does each paragraph flow well from the previous?  If there are any fuzzy transitions, please list them specifically—page #, paragraph #--and give advice on how to make the transition smoother (or moved to somewhere else in the paper).

Transitions works well between the paragraphs.

Conclusion:  Is the conclusion effective in wrapping up the argument, leaving the reader/listener well aware of the point(s) being made?  Does the author leave any loose ends (unfinished arguments begun earlier)?  Can the conclusion be strengthened?

The conclusions is strong and wraps up the paper well.

Voice/Audience:  Describe how the voice is effective in addressing this controversy, keeping in mind that there are people who will not agree with the argument.  Do you feel that the author is effective in projecting him/herself as a rationale authority who had given thought to all viewpoints?  Voice is hard to maintain throughout an entire paper.  Please list passages and word choices that hinder the success of the rationale voice, and offer advice on how to make it stronger.

The voice is strong and he defiantly addresses both sides to the argument.

Revision Suggestions: [recap any suggestions made above, and then list the two most important ones you feel need to occur to achieve maximum effectiveness.]

I would like to see one or two more sources with one more idea. This would make the paper a bit longer and diversify it too.

Laura Hall's review

Peer Review; SLA Argument

Author’s Name: Laura Hall                                                                     Peer Review’s Name: AJ Joslin

What is the main point, the argument? [List page # and paragraph—and then write it in your own words]

The author is for Shelby Lee Adams work.

How does the argument refute potential detractors? [Please list anything the author may have missed that they need to address]

The author states that these are powerful images that the critics are looking at in the wrong way.

Introduction: Describe in your own words what the intro does, then if its effective.  Why/Why Not?  [Please be as specific as possible]

I think it is effective. It covers Shelby Lee Adams’s past, his work and the author’s opinion of him.

Paragraph Concerns:  if there are any paragraphs with more than one main point, address whether they should be split into separate paragraphs, or if one point seems unnecessary and can be deleted.  Are there any paragraphs doing the same thing and can be combined? This is a good place to discuss overall structure, the logical series of points being made.  If the paragraph sequence could be altered for greater effectiveness, please note.

The paragraphs work well they all stay on topic.

Evidence:  Is each main point backed with evidence?  Has the author thoroughly explained the implications of the point being made?  Offer advice on how to back up the point (photo treatment, quotes, logic).

The author explains In Plato’s cave very well, but I think a citation is need in the first paragraph on page 3. I would like to see a few more sources to get more opinions.

Transitions: Does each paragraph flow well from the previous?  If there are any fuzzy transitions, please list them specifically—page #, paragraph #--and give advice on how to make the transition smoother (or moved to somewhere else in the paper).

I like the transitions. They flow from one paragraph to another.

Conclusion:  Is the conclusion effective in wrapping up the argument, leaving the reader/listener well aware of the point(s) being made?  Does the author leave any loose ends (unfinished arguments begun earlier)?  Can the conclusion be strengthened?

The conclusion wraps up the paper well the last line ends the paper nicely.

Voice/Audience:  Describe how the voice is effective in addressing this controversy, keeping in mind that there are people who will not agree with the argument.  Do you feel that the author is effective in projecting him/herself as a rationale authority who had given thought to all viewpoints?  Voice is hard to maintain throughout an entire paper.  Please list passages and word choices that hinder the success of the rationale voice, and offer advice on how to make it stronger.

The author’s voice is strong. I like use of the Blacksburg location compared to Kentucky.

Revision Suggestions: [recap any suggestions made above, and then list the two most important ones you feel need to occur to achieve maximum effectiveness.]

I would suggest adding a source or two to diversify the opinions in the paper. Also cite the documentary on page 3.

Julia Saunders's review

Peer Review; SLA Argument

Author’s Name: Julia Saunders                                                    Peer Review’s Name: AJ Joslin

What is the main point, the argument? [List page # and paragraph—and then write it in your own words]

This paper is for Shelby Lee Adams and his work in the Appalachia

How does the argument refute potential detractors? [Please list anything the author may have missed that they need to address]

They state that Shelby truly cares for the people he photographs, like in Childers family. The kids look forward to seeing him year round and he plays and interacts with the children.

Introduction: Describe in your own words what the intro does, then if its effective.  Why/Why Not?  [Please be as specific as possible]

I think the intro is effective. I like the Facebook reference. It addresses the topic at hand and introduces some of the concerns of Shelby’s critics.

Paragraph Concerns:  if there are any paragraphs with more than one main point, address whether they should be split into separate paragraphs, or if one point seems unnecessary and can be deleted.  Are there any paragraphs doing the same thing and can be combined? This is a good place to discuss overall structure, the logical series of points being made.  If the paragraph sequence could be altered for greater effectiveness, please note.

The three paragraphs are good. The first talks about how the pictures are taken, The second and third are about his relationship with the people who live there. I think another topic would make the paper better than just the two main ideas the body paragraphs talk about.

Evidence:  Is each main point backed with evidence?  Has the author thoroughly explained the implications of the point being made?  Offer advice on how to back up the point (photo treatment, quotes, logic).

The main points are back by the documentary and In Plato’s Cave. The author did a very good job explaining these two works.

Transitions: Does each paragraph flow well from the previous?  If there are any fuzzy transitions, please list them specifically—page #, paragraph #--and give advice on how to make the transition smoother (or moved to somewhere else in the paper).

The transition is good between the paragraphs.

Conclusion:  Is the conclusion effective in wrapping up the argument, leaving the reader/listener well aware of the point(s) being made?  Does the author leave any loose ends (unfinished arguments begun earlier)?  Can the conclusion be strengthened?

The conclusion is strong but gets redundant about the point that he tries to show the world these people while not exploiting them.

Voice/Audience:  Describe how the voice is effective in addressing this controversy, keeping in mind that there are people who will not agree with the argument.  Do you feel that the author is effective in projecting him/herself as a rationale authority who had given thought to all viewpoints?  Voice is hard to maintain throughout an entire paper.  Please list passages and word choices that hinder the success of the rationale voice, and offer advice on how to make it stronger.

The author has strong voice. This shown with the use of the questions scattered throughout the document and ending the paper.

Revision Suggestions: [recap any suggestions made above, and then list the two most important ones you feel need to occur to achieve maximum effectiveness.]

I would suggest adding more sources and maybe a one more idea into the body paragraphs.

Shelby Lee Adams Opening Paragraphs

Shelby Lee Adams is a professional photographer from Hazard, Kentucky. His works such as “Appalachian Portraits” and “Appalachian Lives” are very well known in the art community and face many different opinions. Growing up Shelby Lee Adams and his people were portrayed by the media as a poor and run down place to live. Shelby Lee Adams fell in love with the people of Appalachia during house calls with his uncle who was a doctor. Since then he has dedicated his life to showing the world the truth behind the people and area he loves so much. He has befriend the people who he photographs and will not publish their pictures without their consent. He is trying to change the thinking of the American people by getting close to these people and photographing them the way they truly live.

Shelby Lee Adams is a professional photographer from Hazard, Kentucky. His works such as “Appalachian Portraits” and “Appalachian Lives” are very well known in the art community and face many different opinions. Growing up Shelby Lee Adams and his people were portrayed by the media as a poor and run down place to live. Through all his work hasn't changed that opinion. He exploits the people who he claims to love. By taking his pictures in black and white and providing no context he make these innocent people seem sinister and dark. In his documentary he makes sure he has the last word so he ends with his point of view. He is clearly taking advantage of them.

In Plato's Cave

The first major point in “In Plato’s Cave” by Susan Sontag is “To collect pictures is to collect the world.” This relates to Shelby Lee Adams’s goal to show the way of life of his hometown. He tells the people who he photographs that he is taking their pictures and won’t publish them without their consent. He is trying to depict the Appalachian way of life. His collection of pictures shows a way of life that most people have no idea exist in modern America.

The Second main point is “Photographs furnish evidence. Something we hear about, but doubt, seems proven when we are shown a photograph of it.” This reminds me of Shelby’s pictures. In modern times and all the technology we have at our finger tips it can be hard to believe that some of the pictures he takes can be real. The people he photographs almost seem like they living in a different time. The clothes they wear, the houses they live in, and their environment all seems so foreign to people who have never experience the Appalachian way of life before.

The final point I think relates to Shelby’s work is “Photographs may be more memorable than moving images.” After looking through his work you can really get a feel for these pictures. It’s not a movie were people talk and actions are explained. It is a single frame that doesn't change. Some of these pictures you can’t forget and you can’t look at for very long. That single image can be branded into your mind.