AJ Joslin review of Julia Saunders

Peer Review Worksheet – Inquiry Essay AJ Joslin review of Julia Saunders

Introduction:

What is the initial inquiry question?  Is it expressed clearly?  Why/why not?

The question is “What environmental and genetic factors influence child behavior and temperament?” It is clearly expressed.

How does the author draw in the reader’s interest?  Can it more effectively?  Is this an inquiry with greater import?  Is it expressed? (note: it might be more effective expressed later in the inquiry.)

The author draws in attention by explaining that finding an answer to this question can eliminate antisocial and problem behaviors in children.

                   

Do we know where the author prior knowledge?  Does s/he have a stake in the inquiry?

The author has prior knowledge since the author is a Student Development major so this inquiry relates to their courses.

Voice:

How would you characterize the voice?  Is it effective for the subject material?  Do we believe in the inquisitiveness of the author (does this matter to him/her)?

The voice was strong throughout the paper. It was effective for the subject since they wrote as a researcher and stuck to facts and observations.

If the voice/tone breaks from type, point it out to the author.  Should it not?

The voice/tone is consistent through the paper.

Abstactions/Generalities: are there any instances where abstract ideas need specific details and concrete support for greater understanding?  Point these out.

The author does a good job of explaining her ideas and building on another.

Body:

Is the author’s thought process evident?  Are we led smoothly from one section of the inquiry to the next?  Are there any questions/answers the author missed?  What are they?

The author’s thought process is very evident though out the paper. As the author observes the children since explains what they think about the situation.

Does the author question his/her own assumptions, findings, logic? 

No the author stays with the same idea through the paper.

How is research effectively used?  Incorporation of quotes?  Does the research lead to other branchs of inquiry?  Intellectual disciplines?  Are there missed opportunities for expansion?

Research is effectively used since the author went out into the field and actually studied the behavior of two children and this helps her paper since it data she found. They also use outside sources to contribute the paper.

Does the author maintain your interest?  How so?  Where does your attention lag?  Why?  How can it be fixed?

The author maintains interest by explaining her observations of the children and her thoughts about it.

Does the reader continue to broaden the inquiry?  Should it be further broadened, complicated?

The author uses her own observations and thoughts to expand the inquiry.

Conclusion:

How does the conclusion operate? (Is an answer found?  Is the initial inquiry complicated, expanded?  Does it point to further inquiry?  Does it conclude with greater import/implications?)

I think the second to last paragraph should be switched with the last paragraph. The last paragraph introduces a new idea while the second to last would be a strong way to end the paper.

Is it effective?  Are you, the reader, satisfied with the ending?  Why, why not?  What are some suggestions for greater effectiveness?

If the conclusion was the second to last paragraph then it would be a more effective way to end the paper

The paper answers the question of nature vs. nurture. I’d like to see more information about the nurture side or environmental factors of the question too. Switching the last two paragraphs would help a lot. Overall it was a strong paper.